My fave quotes from different sources

Beware: Some may be funny

Please, if you use one of the following quotes, give it the proper credit.

• What good is a ticket to the good life, if you can't find the entrance?
  
• Jone's Motto: Friends come and go, but enemies accumulate.
  
• Just when you thought you were winning the rat race, along comes a faster rat!!!
  
• It's lucky you're going so slowly, because you're going in the wrong direction.
  
• "It's easier said than done." ...and if you don't believe it, try proving that it's easier done than said, and you'll see that "it's easier said that 'it's easier done than said' than it is done", which really proves that "it's easier said than done".
  
• Famous last words:
  1. Don't unplug it, it will just take a moment to fix.
  2. Let's take the shortcut, he can't see us from there.
  3. What happens if you touch these two wires tog---
  4. We won't need reservations.
  5. It's always sunny there this time of the year.
  6. Don't worry, it's not loaded.
  7. They'd never (be stupid enough to) make him a manager.
  
  
• All programmers are playwrights and all computers are lousy actors.
  
• Support your local Search and Rescue unit -- get lost.
  
• Death is only a state of mind. Only it doesn't leave you much time to think about anything else.
  
• Every program has two purposes -- one for which it was written and another for which it wasn't.
  
• "You've got to think about tomorrow!" "TOMORROW! I haven't even prepared for *yesterday* yet!"
  
• Paranoia is simply an optimistic outlook on life.
  
• "A raccoon tangled with a 23,000 volt line today. The results blacked out 1400 homes and, of course, one raccoon."
  --- Steel City News
  
• What does it mean if there is no fortune for you?
  
• "Let me assure you that to us here at First National, you're not just a number. You're two numbers, a dash, three more numbers, another dash and another number."
  --- James Estes
  
• Trying to establish voice contact........please yell into keyboard.
  
• "A wizard cannot do everything; a fact most magicians are reticent to admit, let alone discuss with prospective clients. Still, the fact remains that there are certain objects, and people, that are, for one reason or another, completely immune to any direct magical spell. It is for this group of beings that the magician learns the subtleties of using indirect spells. It also does no harm, in dealing with these matters, to carry a large club near your person at all times."
  --- The Teachings of Ebenezum, Volume VIII
  

• Pittsburgh Driver's Test

  (8) Pedestrians are

  (a) irrelevant.

  (b) communists.

  (c) a nuisance.

  (d) difficult to clean off of the front grille.
  

  The correct answer is (a). Pedestrians are not in cars, so they are totally irrelevant to driving; you should ignore them completely.

  
  
• OK, so you're a Ph.D. Just don't touch anything.
  
• A billion here, a couple of billion there---first thing you know it adds up to be real money.
  ---Senator Everett McKinley Dirksen
  

• You are here:

  ***

  ***

  *********

  *******

  *****

  ***

  *
  

  But you're not all there.

  
  
• No problem is so formidable that you can't just walk away from it.
  
• The soul would have no rainbow had the eyes no tears.
  
• Twenty Percent of Zero is Better than Nothing.
  --- Walt Kelly
  
• If there are self-made purgatories, then we all have to live in them.
  --- Spock, "This Side of Paradise", stardate 3417.7
  
• You know the great thing about TV? If something important happens anywhere at all in the world, no matter what time of the day or night, you can always change the channel.
  --- Jim Ignatowski
  
• "I haven't lost my mind; I know exactly where I left it."
  
• You will be Told about it Tomorrow. Go Home and Prepare Thyself.
  
• This novel is not to be tossed lightly aside, but to be hurled with great force.
  --- Dorothy Parker
  
• Ever notice that even the busiest people are never too busy to tell you just how busy they are.
  
• It is impossible to experience one's death objectively and still carry a tune.
  --- Woody Allen
  
• Practical people would be more practical if they would take a little more time for dreaming.
  --- J.P. McEvoy
  
• Sanity is the trademark of a weak mind.
  --- Mark Harrold
  
• Truly great madness can not be achieved without significant intelligence.
  --- Henrik Tikkanen
  
• If you took all the students that fell asleep in class and laid them end to end, they'd be a lot more comfortable.
  --- "Graffiti in the Big Ten"
  
• Rudin's Law: If there is a wrong way to do something, most people will do it every time.
  
• Wasting time is an important part of living.
  
• "But officer, I was only trying to gain enough speed so I could coast to the nearest gas station."
  
• "When in doubt, tell the truth."
  --- Mark Twain
  
• Dreams can be as real as events.
  --- Anne Rice
  
• Jiffy Pop is cool !! hehehe
  --- Mad Magazine
  
• How do you know when it's a bad day? You call 911 and get put on hold.
  
• I never have much inspiration. I'm just floating around.
  
• You have alot to learn pup. ** Is this good enough Wolfie? **
  
• I don't want no part of no fire.....I'd melt!!!
  
• Squeak!! Squeak I tell you! Squeak!!
  
• To secure peace is to prepare for war.
  
• Wolves never die.......we just fade into the Shadows.
  
• If you took Danger, Distilled it, and Drank it, what would it Taste like?
  --- Question of the Elders at the Test of Abis
  --- Tara K. Harper
  
• Hell?!?....been there done that.......wanna ride??
  
• .....college is GREAT without the interruptions of classes......
  
• You never know what you got till it's gone.
  --- Cinderella from song by same name
  
• "Wolves may feature in out myths, our history, our dreams, but they have their own future, their own loves, their own dreams to fulfill."
  --- Anthony Miles
  
• "What are you doing?"
  

  "Examining the world's major religions. I'm looking for something that's light on morals, has lots of holidays, and with a short initiation period."
  

• I gave up Smoking, Drinking and Sex. It was the most *horrifying* 20 minutes of my life!
  
• You cannot propel yourself forward by patting yourself on the back.
  
• Don't hate yourself in the morning --- sleep till noon.
  
• I can read your mind, and you should be ashamed of yourself.
  
• Give thought to your reputation. Consider changing name and moving to a new town.
  
• Yield to Temptation.....it may not pass your way again.
  ---- Lazarus Long, "Time Enough for Love"
  
• The more things change, the more they stay insane.
  
• The world is coming to an end......SAVE YOUR BUFFERS!!!
  
• To be sure of hitting the target, shoot first and, whatever you hit, call it the target.
  
• Only through hard work and perserverance can one truly suffer.
  
• Next Friday will not be your lucky day. As a matter of fact, you don't have a lucky day this year.
  
• Chaos and mayhem are my specialty.
  
• To avoid criticism, do nothing, say nothing, be nothing.
  ---- The Ohio Mason
  
• Dreams are sometimes links to a past we'd rather not remember and to a future we may never be a part of.
  
• Hear, see and be silent if you wish to continue living in peace.
  
• Whosoever is delighted in solitude is either a wild beast, or a god.
  ---- Aristotle
  
• Knowledge is dangerous, Stupidity is harmless.
  
• The most wasted of all days is that on which one has not laughed.
  
• People don't care how much you know until they know how much you care.
  
• I don't know the secret to success but the key to failure is to try to please everyone.
  
• The business of finding fault is very easy, and that of doing better very difficult.
  ---- God's Little Instruction Book for the Workplace
  
• Equal opportunity means everyone will have a fair chance at being incompetent.
  ---- Lawrence J. Peter
  
• Stress: The confusion created when the mind must override the body's basic instinct to choke the living crap out of somebody who desperately deserves it.
  
• No matter what I do, it always feels better when I stop doing it.
  
• You never know what's hiding behind the corner in the dark. You can run, but you won't get away. We are here to stay...The Army of the 12 Monkeys
  
• Why do some people get ACCUSED of anything, TAKE THE FALL for everything, and COMMIT only half the crime?
  
• Names are but the robes of fools, And words the death of thought. Your realm lies not in matter's tools But in what song has wrought. -- Greg Bear "Songs of Earth and Power"
  
• Dream to live, live to dream. -- Stephanie Ball
  
• In a world where lonely hearts roam, you'll never be alone. -- Stephanie Ball
  
• In a world where people change, our love will remain the same. -- Stephanie Ball
  

Got a cool quote that you would love to share? Be sure to email me with it and I may just include it here. See the main screen for my email address.

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